Saturday, March 14, 2009

Who's Dancing Now?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of smugness and self-congratulation to bring you some exciting news. AU is in the NCAA tournament!! For only the second time in the school's history! We beat those rat bastards from Holy Cross--something we could never do when I was a student--to get there. And we (I share fully in this victory) shot 71% from the field in the second half. How's your alma mater doing? (Smugness on!)

In other, significanly less great, alumni news, see Kate's post on the bleak future of the QHS band. Let me use a simile related to AU's awesomeness to explain how stupid it would be to cut music at Quakertown. The band at Quakertown shoots about 80% from the field at all times. They are incredible. And about 10% of the student body participates in band. The football team on the other hand, and let me put this delicately, blows. It shoots about 30% from the field at all times like a certain Jesuit university with an inappropriately named sports team. (Turns out, despite what I learned in Catholic school, the Crusades were decidedly not awesome, Crusaders!)

And the football team, unlike band, is only open to members of the male persuasion. And, if Varsity Blues has taught me anything, it's that football will corrupt the hell out of you. When's the last time you heard about marching band hooligans gang raping their fellow students to impress new recruits?

I don't hate football, and I don't advocate cutting it. But if you're looking to save money, I'd think that you should at least think about cutting programs in the order of whose participants have, as students, fathered the most children. And not the most successful program in the history of your school, aside from girls' cross country.


Anonymous said...

As a current QHS band parent i thank you for your analogy!

Katie said...

What's with QHS band parents commenting on your blog but not mine? Is it my gratuitous use of f-bombs?

Lizard said...

No, it's because I implied that his or her child was not a rapist. Parents really appreciate that.