Mmmm Mmmmm, Good!

Last night for dinner I ate popcorn, french fries, and a cupcake. Afterward I felt greasy and queasy. I'm a grown up!

I'm counting this as the fourth installment of things that kinda make be barf, because they literally did. Also, I can't believe that I have a cupcakes tag.

Tina Fey gets me.

The Law of Averages

This one is dedicated to my statistics-loving reader.

So November has rivaled September in terms of blog crapitude. But that's what happens when you kick so much ass in one month, like I did with a bazillion posts in October.

Guess I'll have to shelve those big dreams of blog stardom for a while. Luckily, despite the fact that it really sucked last week, I didn't quit my day job.

Nothing to report/I don't feel like putting together a real (entertaining) post. I'm headed home for Thanksgiving a day early, thanks to my hard-earned comp time. The entire Bolton family is participating in a 5k on Saturday, plus I found free yoga for Thursday, plus Golds Gym is free on Friday, so I'm ready to counteract the turkey effect (not that I eat turkey, but you know what I mean).

I'll actually blame my lameness on all the weight lifting I've been doing lately. It's exhausting. And it's probably going to screw up my 5k. And I need a lot of band aids because I'm so cut.

I'm Big Boned!

Last night I was walking down the street with a friend when two guys tried to hand us flyers for seminars on getting rid of belly fat. "No thanks," I said. "I don't have any belly fat."

My friend said that if we take the flyers then the guys get to go home. I told her that I'm didn't want to take flyers that they offer to women implying that we have guts to lose. Do they offer it to all women? Or just those who look like they need it?

I imagine the seminar goes something like this: they invite all us fat women in, offer us cookies but then don't let us have any! And that's the first step to losing belly fat. (No really, it is.)

So that was fine and good for a laugh, but today I went to the chiropractor and he told me, while pressing on my hips (the saddlebag area, if you will) that I had really nice padded bike pants. EXCEPT MY PANTS AREN'T PADDED. Yikes.

I'm reading Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters, and seriously, no wonder everyone has an eating disorder.

For real now, I'll start my diet tomorrow. I earned my Buzz cupcake tonight.